what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
