What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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