i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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