Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
