She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
