Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
