I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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