Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
