No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
