hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
