i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
