I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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