I CAN MOONWALK!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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