god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
