ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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