I heard we made out
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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