So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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