I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
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Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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