they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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