Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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