my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
