i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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