just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
