dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
