dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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