I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
