Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
