I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
