I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
