I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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