i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
