I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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