Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
