i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize