the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
