I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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