Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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