Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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