You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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