Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sext me about skeletons
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
