like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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