I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it glows. i had to have it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
