My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
