and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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