So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
