You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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