He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
