i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize