i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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