There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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