Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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