if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Drunk is not a location!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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