Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
