why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think a kid would responsible me up
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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