with your own penis?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Randomize
