Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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