C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
