it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
