i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
