It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
