Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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