How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
