I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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