roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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